Roller. Coaster.

So, this post is a little later in coming than I wanted, but now my mind is flooding with ALL the things that I have been putting off! :) I feel the need to take you back to where I was last week, to be truthful of this sweet journey & the majesty of God & our walk to our son.

Today re-read an email I wrote to a friend last week, & I think I'll just use it to fill in the gaps in order to keep this post from being forever long. {For those of you who don't know me well, I'm sure you've figured out by now that I tend to be a little wordy!}

honestly, hearing that someone is praying for us daily is huge. I need to know that someone is interceding for me on the moments/days it gets too discouraging to plead for the exact same thing one more time. We did find out on Monday that the judge issued our written decree, but we still need our MOWA letter before we can move on. we also got confirmation on Monday that MOWA is not cooperating as we suspected. I feel so guilty because I know I should be rejoicing & praising the Lord over this small victory, but I can't seem to get there out of fear that this next hurdle is going to take even longer. ...I just feel so guilty because this is an answered prayer. 

Then that Friday {last week,} one of the other "Southern Six" mommas {that's what we became known as on our agency's list serv} asked if AGCI would be open to talk about making an extra trip to go visit our babies. I'm not sure if they realized that we were all looking at plane tickets for December:), but they agreed to "talk" about it. I dreamed about seeing Little Man again all weekend, & Matt & I started brainstorming on fundraising. Well, on Monday I found out that the option of an extra trip was being taken off the table. We love our agency & they had good reasons, but I was still super bummed because we had no idea when we would hold our baby next. Plus, there still wasn't any new information about why our cases were still on hold & what exactly was going to be needed to get them off even though 2 more of our Southern Six families got their court decrees.

So now I hope you have a little sense of my mental state when the phone rang Wednesday...in fact, don't be surprised when I tell you that I was in bed at 11:00 AM.;-) My case manager told me, much to EVERYone's surprise, MOWA had agreed to go ahead & write our letters!!!! Our orphanage director explained it best, "The steps have been many to get here, but most of all it is God's thing, no one can move men's hearts but God." AGCI expects our letters to get here by the end of next week...Little Man is coming HOME!!! Matt & I are elated to say the least & are truly beyond grateful for each one of your prayers. We aren't really sure about the timing yet. It will depend on when we actually get our letter & how the VISA process goes, but there is a possibility it could be by the end of this year! :)

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to see these last few years as purposeful refinement, even though I cringed at that thought just 3 short days ago. Thank you for continuing to give me permission to ask for things that may give You glory because I'm beginning to realize the depth of your love for me. I am humbled by your grace in so. many. ways.

so much for not being wordy, huh?! wow, this post took a turn i totally wasn't expecting...here's your reward for making it to the end ;-)

We got an email today with a note from our in-country director. MOWA is still stating that they won't approve our cases until the southern region releases them. It's been 2 weeks since the one family in our group got their written decree from the judge. The note confirmed that the judge is saying that she will eventually approve all the cases where both the birth & adoptive families have given consent before the orphanages were closed, but she is in training & not reviewing cases right now. So, our director is hoping that in the next few weeks the judge will be back to work completely & things will start moving more. Almaz is waiting on the judge to issue her decree so that she can have something tangible to use with MOWA.

This is a very tough spot for all of the families involved. Every single morning we wake up wondering what the day might hold...either (a) hear that we have the judge's decree but still left with tons of questions on timing & validity on whether our adoptions can still really take place; (b) hear that MOWA has decided to write our letters & actually have a clue about when we can bring our babies home; (c) hear that our children were in fact taken back to the south & try to figure out where to go from there; (d) hear that the whole adoption is going to fall through; or (e) hear that there's no news to report & repeat all this the next day. That is A LOT to process over & over every. single. day. The best way I know to describe it is that I feel like my life is paralyzed.

Where is Wonder Woman when you need her??! :)

Seriously, though, I do want to praise God... after learning more about what is going on with cases from the southern region & hearing more stories of other families with referrals who had not made it to court yet {mostly from other agencies,} it is becoming even more apparent how crucial it was that we made it to court when we did. That 'miracle of miracles' the Lord blessed us with is our saving grace right now. It has put us in the position where we still have a chance to bring our little man home, & it continues to be a constant reminder of Hope & answered prayers. Praise be to the Father!!!

One More Stone...

This week we found out that the judge has agreed to go ahead & give us a written decree despite not having our MOWA letter yet. This is very unprecedented - a huge praise! Our agency thinks that this will keep the southern government from having jurisdiction over our kiddos, so therefore, no claims to take them back! One of the families (there are 5 in our same predicament from our agency) received their decree on Tuesday. I was hoping to be able to announce our decree this week too, but we haven't heard anything on our specific case yet. Our agency feels for sure it is coming though - please pray for peace & patience for us & the other families that are waiting daily for new news.

As far as MOWA goes, they have not changed their position to our knowledge. We continue to hope that once they see the judge moving on our behalf, they will follow suit. This seems to be still really complicated, & I don't really understand what all is going on with this part yet. Although, I do know that it has the possibility of holding us up for a long time. Please, please pray against this!! Another one of the families involved said they are being bold & praying for our little ones to be home by Halloween. ...This is actually the timing Matt & I had thought would be possible when we first left for Addis Ababa on Aug. 2. So, when she said that I thought, why would I not keep asking for that myself?:) Will you join me?? It would take several miracles, but I think He's getting us use to asking for those! ;)

THANK YOU so much!!! Honestly, every single intercession means the world to us.

A Smattering of News

The most popular question we get is "is there any news." The short answer is no. The meeting that we were told was going to take place never did. The idea was to approach MOWA directly instead, & so far we still have not heard of such a meeting. Yet, our case manager told us last Thursday that an American adoption network is going to have a meeting in ET. That's the reality of the news we get- very vague & translates into nothing tangible. We have no idea who the meeting is going to be with, when it is supposed to take place, etc. We know God is big & our prayer doesn't change - we pray that God will bring unity to the situation so that by the time the court opens back up in mid-October, we can have our MOWA approval letter there & be passed to the U.S. Embassy part of the process. To be completely frank though, the potential of that happening is just as equal as the potential that the Southern Regional Government shuts down adoptions from their area for good. Not that anyone thinks that is going to happen, it is, however, the realness of the complication of the matter. Our case manager told me it was best to not expect any definite news on whether or not MOWA would review our cases until the courts reopen. I don't want to come off as a 'debbie downer' because we do have hope despite this. The Lord was sweet to me, & reminded me of a favorite childhood hymn last Sunday at my grandmother's church & I have been clinging to it ever since...Standing on the Promises of God:

	Standing on the promises of Christ my King,

through eternal ages let his praises ring;

glory in the highest, I will shout and sing,

standing on the promises of God.

Standing on the promises that cannot fail,

when the howling storms of doubt and fear assail,

by the living Word of God I shall prevail,

standing on the promises of God.

Standing on the promises of Christ the Lord,

bound to him eternally by love's strong cord,

overcoming daily with the Spirit's sword,

standing on the promises of God.

Standing on the promises I cannot fall,

listening every moment to the Spirit's call,

resting in my Savior as my all in all,

standing on the promises of God.  	

We are also blessed with a very caring director of our transition home. She sent us {the families that are being effected by the freeze on the Southern region} a sweet note 2 weeks ago to let us know that everyday she is on the phone trying to figure out what is going on & fighting for our cases. She told us that everyday she is personally sitting down with our children, telling them how much their mommies & daddies love them... i cannot begin to tell you how much this means! As promised, she sent us a special update last week. While I can't show the pictures, I will brag a little & tell you what she said about Little Man. :)

Our sweetest spirit & with grown up soul baby. He is growing & doing so well. He laughs & smiles all of the time. He loves his food & loves being held & intensely listens & looks at your face.

This just makes me smile...he is the perfect combination of Matt & me...LOVE :)

Also on the news front, I have decided to pursue actual completion of the nursery. I've been doing bits here & there for the last year, but I haven't really worked toward any sort of completion. I've had this huge fear {there's still some left} that I'll have a room that's ready with no sign of my baby coming home, then will have to look at a finished room day after day. I came to the realization last week that I may be holding on to this fear a little strongly. So, I had a talk with the Lord & told Him I would let go & step out in faith a little farther. To be clear, I am still in no big hurry but do think moving forward is the right thing to do for now.

Ready for a sneak peak?? This is a project I completed last spring with some BIG help from a great friend & her gracious client! ;) Matt's grandmother's couch had been sitting in a spare room at his mom's house for a while. I have always had my eye on it, so when I first started thinking about the nursery, it immediately came to mind! It was actually a great fun, retro print, & if had known we were going to get a girl, I might have worked around it. Instead, I wound up painting, recushioning, & reupholstering it.

The Before

{you are actually getting a bonus sneak peak of the fabric I fell in love with ;)}

The After...well need to touch up some of the paint!

{picture lots of fun pillows ;) also, disregard the wall design...we haven't painted yet!}

My Favorite Part

{apparently you are supposed to sign & date a piece when you reupholster it....so, i wrote a little note with mine...actually, i wrote 2 notes because i forgot to take a picture of the 1st one! :)}

Update

We had an awesome time in Ethiopia with our son! I will post some pictures that I can soon, but wanted to write an update on where we are at.

On Friday morning, we were called back in front of the judge & after a few questions {we were with a group of 2 other families,} she told us that we approved pending our MOWA letter. We were thrilled! That afternoon, however, we found out some hard news. There have been several orphanages closed within the Southern region of ET, where our little guy is from. This is a large area, & without getting too technical & detailed, no one is really sure why the particular places are being shut down by the regional government. However, MOWA has decided to hold off on issuing any decisions on cases coming from the Southern region until all matters are resolved within the regional government & orphanages. We have no idea what this exactly entails or how long it might take.

There is a meeting tonight {Tuesday there} with several organizations lobbying for MOWA to go ahead & review cases like ours that have already passed court. These cases already have all their i's dotted & t's crossed, only lacking their approval letter from MOWA before moving on to getting VISAs for children to go home. Please join me in praying that this meeting is successful!!

{Just to be clear, the orphanage our lil man came from before he was brought to Addis Ababa was not one of the places closed. This is a region wide hold that is going on despite individual case circumstances. It is very sad for all kids involved! While my baby is in a transition home with lots of love & private resources, other kids are now stuck in government run orphanages with minimal resources. I'm praying it all is resolved soon for the best of everyone!}

The Lord is Mighty, & I rest in the Promises that He as already shown me! :)

We Got a COURT DATE!!!!

I woke up this morning thinking, "today could be the day...Lord, please let today be the day." & that's what I prayed all morning long, "Lord, please let us get a court date today." I have been wrecked these last few days longing more than ever to meet & be with my son. After I ate lunch, I started to read for my class...got up & decided to get on my knees to pray. I prayed that God would make my heart in line with His will so that I would want what would most glorify Him. I told Him how much I longed for my son & told Him that I was still so sorry for not stepping out in faith before now. I got back up, sat down in my seat to start reading, & the phone rang...literally just like that boom, boom, boom! I couldn't even talk when Brandi told us we had our court date! {I had just sent Brandi an email yesterday having to deal with a conference call we were supposed to schedule & told her I was still holding out hope to get a court date before the closures, so she knew God was answering my prayer...so, so, so cool!}

Our court date is Aug 5th where we will go before the judge. The birth family will go on Aug 1...please hold both of these dates in your hearts & pray that things will go smoothly. We most likely will not have our MOWA approval letter & not sure how that will work out with the rainy season {whether or not MOWA will be reviewing cases during this time,} but our judge should clear us pending our approval letter. Then, once we get the approval letter, they'll send our case to the U.S. Embassy to get in line for a VISA.

Thanks everyone for praying!!! We are elated to say the least! I just want to hold my son! I'll deal with the rest later :)

Life Lessons & Prayers

well, i'm being brave & sharing an email on here that i just sent out to my lovely community group girlfriends. i'm sharing here because (1) i seem to remember being in a similar place on here before with y'all :) (2) we need all the prayers we can get! (3) - most importantly- To God Be The Glory!

Hi friends!
I wanted to email you all to in part confess & share one of my main life lessons I am relearning, & then to ask for your prayers. Last night we found out that a family that got their referral a week before us got assigned a court date for Aug. 1. {let me back track & also tell you that we have learned this week that the court closing isn’t systemized – like all things in ET - & usually occurs within the 1st & 2nd weeks of August but varies from year to year on exactly when.} With that news, we have a renewed sense of hope that we could actually get to court before the rainy season!

I then began to research to see how many families were between the family that got assigned & us {not that it even really matters bc again, no systems in ET} & was lead to a blog of one of those families. After reading their referral story, the Lord really convicted me of how I am putting him in a box. This is a lesson that I am learning over & over in this adoption. You see, in adoption {at least for me} I think you try to manage your expectations to keep from getting heart broken over & over. Brokenness came for me in March when I figured out that we weren’t going to get our referral when I expected, & I had even been preparing myself for the possibility of brokenness to come again if we don’t get him home by the end of the year. However, in that “managing expectation” mode, I had began to loose faith in what the Lord will do...not what He can do, but what He would do for Matt & me & our family. It brings tears to my eyes because I know the Lord loves me & I know He knows the desires of my heart, but I decided to only ask Him for what is a “reasonable” miracle. I think I even told a few people that it would be a miracle beyond miracles if we made it to court before rainy season & that we would be doing great if we made it to court in Oct. So that’s what I denounced my God to, getting me to court in Oct & never even considering asking to get in before the closure.

I looked up some verses last night & came upon Job 17:11-15 with v. 15 being “where then is my hope- who can see any hope for me.” This one cut me deep...what kind of witness am I being if I, “the believer,” don’t even have enough hope to ask for the hard stuff?? What an amazing testimony would that be if the Lord did get us in before the closure?!

So, here is what I’m asking of you all, my beloved friends. Will you please join us in praying for us to get a court date before the August closure? The Lord is good regardless of when we go, but He has called us to ask {Matt 7:11- "If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"} {side note - the last time Matt & I asked our CG to pray with us back in March when we were broken, it turned out to be the evening before our little man was born!}

Much love & much gratitude,
Amelia

Happy 5th!!

Five years ago today, I married this guy, & my life has not been the same since. :)

Have I mentioned that I grew up in a house full of girls? Needless to say, the most adjustment to marriage was figuring out how to live with a boy...oh, the stories I could tell ; )

I love this man. The Lord knew what He was doing when He created him for me; he compliments me so. Matt's patient & laid back...I am a perfectionist. Matt is fun loving & can easily relax...I am a planner & have a constant "to-do" list running in my head. Matt likes to be funny...I laugh at anything. Matt is a starter...I am a finisher. Matt loves the Lord & recognizes his constant need for saving...I do too. We are not a perfect couple, but we realize God ordained our marriage so that He can have glory & He uses us to refine each other.

It has been amazing to see how instrumental our complimentary personalities have been/still are in our adoption process. When we started the process in January {2010,} the paperwork was overwhelming. We were using 2 different agencies, 1 for our homestudy & 1 for everything else, so we had things to go through for our homestudy to make sure it complied with both agencies, paperwork to put together for our dossier, plus a ton of education materials to complete. I became paralyzed every time I even thought about where to start. As Matt noticed this, he began to quietly work on things- he sent off for all the official paperwork we needed from the state, drafted his biography, etc. It gave me time to sort through all the details in my head & get a grip on all of it. By the time tax season came into swing mid-February, I was ready to take charge {& have been point person ever since.} While details get me bogged down & at a loss to start sometimes, Matt is enough removed where he can just jump on in. On the other hand, it is sometimes the details, especially in this process, that make you successful upon completion...& this is where my personality comes into play.

There is no other person I would rather have by my side as I wait to bring home my little one. He reminds me to be patient as he listens to me on the days the unkowns are too much for this planner, & he's good to keep me grounded when I start going down the "what-ifs." There are times that I would rather not have to remind him that I'm trying to be serious, but the fact that Matt can always make me laugh is a true gift from God. In fact, there is a list that I made in a high school Bible study of characteristics I would want in a husband & "sense of humor" is one of the tops. :)

May the God who gives endurance & encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart & mouth you may glorify the God & Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. Romans 15:5-7

Thank you, Father, for this happy day!